Soul Sickness
For years, Amanda stayed alert and treaded lightly without complaint. She hadn't believed Mike about his interlude with Melanie Park.
But she was wrong. Mike was right. She'd spied on their fond farewell and nothing more. And oh, what a fuss she had put up! Eighteen years old and marrying her first boyfriend, she at least knew when to object. Give her that much.
Too bad she was out-numbered. Mike had wanted to marry her a lot, to prove something, maybe. And his parents, especially his mother, would apparently exert whatever it took.
A bad sign right there, she had thought, only to absorb a resounding if ghostly chorus correcting her.
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Cheryl behaved less subtly. "All I've ever wanted was for someone like Mike Morrison to marry me. So, you damn well better give me this vicariously."
"I said, 'yes.' And, I love Mike. So it's fine, right?"
"You may not be the prettiest girl I've ever seen," Cheryl said, "but hip-hip for you, Amanda. You certainly know how to attract attention. Always have."
Luckily, everyone favored a small, family wedding. Amanda's persona would turn to rags if they had opted for a Cinderella ball. Which Cheryl couldn't afford, and the Drs. Morrison prided themselves on tact.
Now that Amanda was in college, and of age, Cheryl had resumed life with men. So the night before Cheryl's boyfriend du jour et nuit walked the daughter down the aisle, Amanda was too anxious to sleep, let alone stay with Mike. So she had told him to honor the tradition. "Bad luck the night before. I'll see you first thing tomorrow."
At two am, she sought Olivia on the internet. Her childhood friend appeared on virtually every social network, looking both the same and different. Wild black hair, a pierced eyebrow, she was in Australia, studying under the aegis of Union College in New York.
Amanda found her online in a Brisbane bar. Married? FCK-U! Congrats+XXX!
Olivia Underwood was OU online.
So, OU, Amanda typed, IOU.
U O Nothing.
The Underwoods weren't angry with her. Walter had spent less than five years in jail, reduced from twenty. The sex offender charge didn't stick.
Sex offender? For what? Amanda was appalled.
He took you to Florida without telling anyone, Olivia noted.
Amanda sank to the floor, vomited in the wastebasket, and turned off the computer.
Olivia had assured her that Walter was fine now. A CPA in Schenectady.
Sterling, Olivia's mother, had married some super rich guy in Virginia. OU loved the clubs. In Brisbane nightlife was just hitting its prime.
Most of this barely registered, compared with the news about Walter. That the man had gone to jail because of her, suspected of that!, made her sick. It was soul-sickness, something she'd never suffered before.
Why the fuck hadn't anyone asked her? Who would know if not her? He knew, and he went to jail without letting the police or lawyers or anyone ask her a single question?
She paced her dorm room, recalling that her mother's upstate married lover had been a so-called godsend. Cheryl had moved Amanda to Wisconsin before she knew it, before it could become real.
Later, she dozed off for a while. She took a shower as the sun rose and soon Mike drove her to Cheryl's house where she wore a white dress and married him. Which was fine. Amanda's perfect life was perfectly, perfectly fine.
(Click here to read the next episode.)
The Declaration of the Democratic Worldview, by Hank Edson
