Why I'll Never Grow A Mustache
Next month is my twenty-ninth birthday. No, April 20th is my twenty-ninth birthday but it’s also Adolph Hitler’s birthday, which is why my mother insists my actual DOB was the day I was due, not the evil dawn at which I prematurely arrived.
[This post is an excerpt from Diary of a Heretic, the novel. Click here to read the first episode, or here to read the previous one.]
This morning, I recalled reading in an astrology book that those born on April 20th can, when speaking to crowds, project an extraordinary power over them. Isn’t that stupid? What astrological caveat goes to those born on Hitler’s birthday? ‘If you don’t watch yourself, you might murder six million people?’
So whenever I start wondering if I could be a genuine prophet, double my idiocy, why doncha? I can’t take this. My head aches. The shop’s in ruin. Everywhere I look everything is pure and total shit.
(Click here to read the next episode.)
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Malcolm's in a bad mood today, huh? Hilarious picture though.
Posted by:Rufus | April 07, 2008 at 08:31 AM
i enjoyed this write kath....~_^ a lot...
Posted by:gerald | April 07, 2008 at 08:34 AM
Oh, boy, that picture is just too much...ouch, Malcolm!
Posted by:Dan Leo | April 07, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Rufus, Yeah, I guess you could say he was in a bad mood. But for all his self-conscious jokes, he takes himself too seriously for "moods." Rather, he suffers from ontological betrayal. You know, a Jesus complex.
Gerald, I'm glad you liked it, because really, this character doesn't appeal to everyone, much as I love him.
Dan, See how he wastes his time? He'd get a lot more accomplished if he didn't play with face paint all day long.
Posted by:Kathleen | April 07, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Oh Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.....come on over to my blog and we'll commiserate together. Tsk tsk.
Posted by:Mimi Lenox | April 07, 2008 at 10:15 PM
really,
this character is great Kath... for me,, one of a kind
Posted by:gerald | April 08, 2008 at 07:31 AM
Gerald, Thanks, again. Malcolm is, if not one of a kind, one you're unlikely to know like this for a while.
And Mimi's right: If he could visit her, she'd help keep his feet on the ground. Of course, Mimi would benefit everyone. Consider joining her BlogBlastforPeace: http://www.mimiwrites.blogspot.com/
Posted by:Kathleen | April 08, 2008 at 11:13 AM